Zachary Binx, the Nightmare Cat

by Kyle Flemmer


I feel uncomfortable when you
watch me sweep,
unmoving and resentful as I
collect your discarded hair.
If you don’t like it,
don't watch.
Tonight’s dinner guest is allergic,
and besides,
you’ve tracked filthy bits of litter
all through the apartment.


Why don’t you eat your wet food?
It was prepared just the way you like–
broken into bite-sized pieces,
piled in the middle of the bowl,
covered in “gravy,”
and warmed to exactly
mouse body temperature
in the microwave,
which really stinks up the apartment.
Why don’t you eat your wet food?


Sorry I spilled catnip
on the couch.
I’m not apologizing to you,
I’m just…


My bed is your bed,
and your bed is your bed,
but my shoes are my shoes,
despite your efforts to “claim” them.
Greasy, black scent stains
on white apartment walls
do not constitute
ownership, and
if this behavior doesn’t stop
there will be no more “gravy”
on your wet food.


Oh, how majestic you are!
Look at your glorious mane and
mischievous face.
Would you like a brushing?
Oh yes, good kitty,
let me brush your furry belly.
Oh no, poor kitty, is this a mat?
Let me cut it out for you.
Hold still.
I said hold still.
Owowow Zachy stoppit fuck ok!
Calm down.
We’re done.


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Dorito Hangover is "Out of Print" from The Blasted Tree Store.


Founder, Editor in Chief, Author

Dorito Hangover by Kyle Flemmer is a Blasted Tree original collection of poetry.

ISBN [Digital]: 978-0-9939300-5-8

Cover Design by Kyle Flemmer - Cover Image by Marcin Rybarczyk