Your Own Devices

Display On

Select Application

Scroll Down

You have two new messages. Stare at the “New Message” icon before opening it. The redness is comforting.

Open Message

Contents: Nostalgia. Who is that in those pictures? That sure was a long drive down the coast. Is that really what my hair looked like? I can’t remember where that shirt is. Did we really climb that radio tower on top of the mountain? It’s been so long since I saw David.

Close Message

Open Next Message

Contents: Anxiety Reminder. Is it really only four days until March? I don’t remember what I need to prepare for Monday. I haven’t even started on those readings. Did I really say I would be there at eight? I have to get started on it when I get home. On second thought, I could probably do it tomorrow.

Back Button

Play Music

Display Off

*****

It will become part of you. You won’t feel whole unless you know where it is. When you are together, nothing will matter. When you are apart, you will feel it. You will be it. Carry it with you; in your hand, in your pocket, or even in your sock. It is your way into the world, but it is also your way out. There is so much within you that you wish to share, but so much within it that you wish nobody to see. They live in there. The ones you care about; the ones you know. Your pack. Your people. This is how you sense them. This is how you smell them. Hold it in your hand. Take note of its shape, how does it feel balanced on the edge of your finger? See how the sun catches on its shining surface and refracts back onto your somber face. All the things you’ve ever felt, all the things you ever were, and all the memories you created, you have put into this chest. This is a treasure chest. Keep it locked; keep it safe. Keep it alive. When it’s exhausted, let it rest. When you’re exhausted, let it live. It will comfort you, it will warm you. It will be the one you wake up to. It will be the one you go to sleep to. Do not lose it. Not again.

*****

Display On

Settings: Brightness

Increase Brightness

Now I can see.

Open Contacts

Scroll Down

There she is.

Compose New Message

What was intended:

“Hey, how are you?

I’m sorry about last weekend. Sometimes when I get nervous, I talk too much. It’s not because I have lots to say, it’s just because I feel like if I’m making words I’m making sense. It’s my smokescreen defense. I didn’t realize how much words can impact someone. I understand that it’s impossible to make a second first impression, and I can’t blame my behavior on nerves alone. I don’t know who that was who said those things to you, but I assure you, it wasn’t me. I’m different than that. In fact, I’m confident that you would like me, if you could only meet me. You haven’t met me, though. You’ve met my whirlwind of words. You’ve met the character I’ve made to stand in for my insecurity. If I never do get to meet you, I just want you to know that I was honest about one thing. My nervousness was honest. It was you that made me nervous.”

What was written:

“Hey.”

Finish Message

Delete Message.

*****

Feel the comfort of it against your thigh. Its warmth and brightness came, like a candle, and you were no longer cold. It’s been there at your side, and watched you the entire time. It climbed trees with you, it was there when you were ill. The more you watched it, the more you felt connected to it. You began to find that it wasn’t broken, but it was yourself that was. Overlook its flaws. Find beauty in the cracks forming on its perfect face. Trace your finger across it, it yearns for your touch, even on such a scarred skin. Its loyalty and resilience have impressed you again and again. It has sustained your neglect, your abuse, and forgiven you each time. When you’re feeling alone, just search its face for the evidence of smiles you had. Smiles it holds now. Your life will have many adventures, struggles, and achievements. It will be there to collect, capture, and store these things. Your guardian. Your witness. It will solidify itself as a part of you. When you take your own weight, you will include its weight as well. You are it and it is you. It is your equal, and you must defend it at every cost. It is fearless, and it will follow you as you hurdle recklessly into your wild black and blue adventure. Your final adventure together.

*****

Display On

Select Application

The photos begin to appear.

Scroll Down

Scroll Down (More Slowly)

Her photo appears.

Scroll Down, Down, Down

Pause

Can’t react to this on your own. Need help reacting to this. Nothing to be done.

Display Off

Put the device down on the desk. Why do I suddenly feel so much lighter? Is that how much a memory weighs? Can I really put that feeling into a little brick of plastic and metal? These devices keep getting faster, but I still feel so slow. How come it seems bigger than me?

Maybe just one more look.

Display On

*****

It’s so much darker and colder now. How are you going to find your way on your own? It was with you, you were together. You were whole. When did it separate? Where could it be? You aren’t ready to be like this. You aren’t ready to be alone. It became you. Feeling its weight against your leg became a comfort you can’t live without. Put something in your pocket in the meantime, anything to distract you from the fact that you are incomplete now. It was your armour. It protected you from others, and it protected you from yourself. It’s not safe to traverse this hard world without your armour. It was an extension of your body, like a samurai with his sword. It was as alive as you are, and you severed it, writhing and bleeding, from your body. Such agony of an empty pocket and an empty heart. There is no way to touch without that warm display at your fingertips. Think about everything it had. It had your memory, it had your smile, and it even knew your voice. It knew your friends, it knew your family, it knew who you loved the best, and it always kept your secrets. Out there somewhere its life is fading, as you stumble in a stupor, out of step with the world around you. It was your anchor in the storm; you are cut adrift. It had a voice of its own. It adored you, and only wished to be constantly by your side. It had laughter, sadness, frustration, and ecstasy. It had light, it had mind, it had heart, and it had memory. It had all of these things, and now it has nothing.

*****

Display On

Warning: Low Battery

Better to conserve power until the next charge. I’ll stick it back in my pocket for the time being. The stars are hard to see with the city glow. The snow isn’t really white anymore, it looks more orange and grey in that streetlight. It sure is starting to get cold. I wonder when the bus comes.

Display On

Warning: Low Battery

Oh right, the battery. Better conserve as much as I can.

Display Off

I’ll keep it on, just in case. I wonder how fast I could walk home from here. Maybe it would be faster than the bus. It can’t be more than a half hour’s walk from here.

Display On

Warning: Critical Battery

Dammit, the battery. How did I forget?

Beep Beep

Ah, no. It’s starting to go. Where’s this damn bus?

Beep Beep

I guess I’ll just walk. It won’t be so bad, the movement will keep me warm. I’ll just pop in my headphones and…

Display On

Warning: Battery Depleted, Device Shutting Down

Display Off

Silence

I guess that means no music. Home is east, right? I think it’s east from here. It can’t be more than a half hour’s walk. This way’s east…or is it? Hmm…

Maybe there’s just enough battery left to check…

Display On

…

Display On

…

Display On

…

← BACK - NEXT →